Yellow Peril

Where do I start writing about my yarn woes? I bought the Bernat Softy Baby yarn to make the Textured Baby Blanket for my DD's teacher. I was merrily crocheting along when it happened... A sudden hissing sound startled me. My shoulders started to quiver and soon my hands began to shake. Was it a gas leak? Nothing smelled funny. Had a pit of vipers suddenly awoke from their winter hibernation and decided to seek a warmer hang out? I quickly told the dog to search for snakes, he just looked at me with an expression that read "are you nuts?" Perhaps all the tires on our vehicles had suddenly decided to deflate en mass. I glanced outside, nope the tires still looked puffy. Where in the world was that sound coming from? It was then I realized that the awful, spine chilling sound was coming from my own mouth. You see I had been innocently crocheting along when all of the sudden my yarn bloated on me. Yup, old Yellow must have gone off the Jenny Craig in a big way. Now I wasn't having any of that, so I gave her some "lipo" and cut out the problem right then and there. After careful surgical maneuvering I continued to crochet away, just to have another incident occur! Blast it! Had the yarn learned nothing? Why did she continue with it's perverse acrylic bingeing? Yet another painful lipo surgery was conducted. I am pleased to say that Yellow was recovering quite nicely from her bout with the scapel. A sensable diet was perscribed along with moderate excersize. I worked with the Yellow on a daily basis, coaxing her into shape, hoping that she would obtain her goal of forming into a perfect well-balanced blanket. Now that we had the "bloating" and "bingeing" issues out of the way. Well, apparently Yellow became strict with herself. She must have decided that one could not have enough control over ones diet and tried to go anorexic on me. Getting thin enough to the point of fraying. ACK! It was time for another round at the old yarn hospital. "We need another 50gm of acrylic STAT! Where's that needle Nurse?" After a few close calls with Yellow teetering on the edge of recovering from "Fray Syndrome", she was able to pull it together and emerge a whole and happy blankie. Hooray! A lovely montage of the yarn suddenly getting thicker. I forgot to take pictures of the frayed parts as well. I did save some of the "thick" and "frayed" pieces from the yarn along with some wrappers. I am thinking of writing Bernat a letter and enclosing the samples.